I was awakened by a man talking to me.
“The Devil has my name.”
“Um…what? Who are you? Do you know what time it is?” I scrubbed my face in frustration. Sometimes the deceased or ghosts forget that the physical body needs sleep.
“The Devil has my name,” he repeated.
“I don’t get it. What does that even mean?”
I felt his energy shift as he prepared to tell me his story.
~ ~ ~
“I was a farmer. That’s how I made my living and took care of my family. First, the battles with Monsanto took a toll on me, but that was nothing compared to what came next. Covid. I couldn’t harvest. I cursed the government while I watched my plants die from neglect and crops going to rot.
“Then, as the new season came around I still struggled to prep and plant without a work crew to help me. I cursed the government again. I cursed the CDC and those putting out the guidelines. I cursed those who made and released covid.
“My family began looking lean.
“I couldn’t get everything planted like normal since I couldn’t do all the work myself. My rights to provide for my family were taken away. My wife, she never complained once.
“Then my tractor broke. I couldn’t get parts. Shoot, people are still having problems getting parts for just about anything.
“I cursed everyone who I felt were adding to the destruction of my livelihood. I ended up losing my farm…everything was gone.
“I cursed the land and home that used to be mine.
“It became too much. I failed my wife. I failed my family. In shame of my failure, I cursed myself. Then I killed myself. This is why the Devil has my name.
“I blamed everyone and everything. My death was by my hand, no one else’s. I was wrong to do that. I take responsibility for that.
“But I need people to know. I want you to write this; tell my story. I don’t want the Devil to have anyone else’s name.
“And people need to understand – we let them take our rights away. It’s not the government’s fault; they’ve always done what they wanted. We just ignored it, or thought someone else would take care of it. It’s our fault; the people, for not standing up and doing what is right. For not making those who are supposed to represent us to do so without their own personal agenda’s. They are supposed to serve us, not themselves.
“The government, on every level, is supposed to work for us; not for themselves. And they’re not supposed to work to divide us – but to unite us.
“People need to stand up and quit hoping someone else will save them. They need to quit cursing and do something. Don’t give up or back down. Don’t quit like I did. Don’t let the Devil have your name.”
~ ~ ~
And with that, he faded.
Nope, I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. Why? His darkness in despair – also known as the “Devil” (figuratively, not literally) – had felt overwhelming. His passion, his angst, his desire to make sure others don’t follow him, reverberated long after he faded. His message touched me.
I don’t know who he was, but it wasn’t about who he was. It was about a message he wanted to share.
Related
Resources:
Suicide Prevention
1-800-273-8255
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
New Mexico Crisis & Access Line
855-NMCRISIS (855-662-7474)
https://nmcrisisline.com/
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233
https://www.thehotline.org/
Veterans Crisis Line
800-273-8255
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/
By Jan Toomer
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