A few years ago my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He spoke at length with his doctor and then he dug into and researched alternatives. He decided on Immunotherapy (a form of chemotherapy).
As he was well into his treatments, someone asked me, “How could you let your husband do chemo?” Let? Really?
It’s simple, it was not my decision. Let me say that again. Not. My. Decision.
I expected my husband to research options and make an informed decision, and that is exactly what he did.
I have no right to tell my husband, or any other person, what they should or should not do to THEIR body. I’m not living in it. Period.
Lucy
“Lucy” shared an experience with me where an energy healer shamed Lucy for considering surgery for her chronic spinal problems and pain. She told Lucy that Lucy didn’t try Reiki enough; didn’t believe enough. Lucy wanted to explain and share every western medicine and alternative action that she tried.
I want to be perfectly clear here: Lucy did not owe that energy worker, or anyone else, any explanation or reason as to why she was considering surgery. It is no one else’s da*n business. Period.
Lucy lives in that body. Lucy’s body is her own, and no one else has the right to shame her for her decisions for her body.
You and I
We each have to live in our own bodies and make informed decisions for self; as well as walk our own individual path.
You and I have the right to support those we care about as they make their own health decisions, regardless if their decision fits our belief or not.
It was hard watching my husband as he went through his cancer treatments. I supported his journey the best I could, never once criticizing him for his decisions. Do I like that he went through chemo? No particularly; I would’ve preferred he never had cancer. But I supported his decisions.
None of us knows what another person’s journey is; what kinds of experiences they chose to have in their lifetime – just as no one else knows what you chose to experience.
Before you criticize or shame someone for their decisions regarding their health, please hold your tongue. If they ask for your thoughts or advice, then share. But please remember, it’s not your decision – it’s their decision.
Final Note
My husband is nearing his one year cancer-free anniversary; seems to me like he made the right decision for himself.
By Jan Toomer
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