Ego has been a topic that has been brought up in conversations off and on for two weeks now.
In the past, I had a horrible fear of coming down with a case of “big head”; of becoming an ego-maniac. Whenever someone tried to compliment me, I was quick to use diversionary tactics to move the attention elsewhere. I figured it would keep me from becoming egotistical or full of myself.
When anyone commented on my abilities, I would again downplay their perception of what I do or did.
And then I started growing up.
I will occasionally find myself being dismissive in an old habit attempt to deflect…but not so much as before.
What Changed?
Remember that – from about mid 2012 to more recently – I had been writing about taking responsibility for you and your life? Well, I wasn’t taking responsibility for accepting me – all of me. I was so worried about my ego getting too big that I downplayed, dismissed, or ignored aspects of myself.
I was also trying to accept responsibility for how others perceived me.
So, in a nutshell, I wasn’t accepting responsibility where I needed to – and was accepting responsibility where it wasn’t mine to take on.
Kind of backward, right?
See Your Shining Light
When I was teaching my metaphysical classes at the local college, I was often surprised at some of the others missing how awesome of a being they truly were.
I would often say, “If you could see you the way I see you, you’d know how wonderful a being you really are!”
And I meant it.
The light, essence or beingness that shone through each person was, and is, totally amazing. I wished for each of them to see their shining Light.
And yet I downplayed mine.
Not cool.
- I still have my moments, but have mostly accepted all of me.
- I still feel the need to keep myself in check and not move into ego. I still feel like “just me, Jan”.
- But work daily on accepting what “just me, Jan” means and is.
Please Don’t Feed the Ego – Mine or Anyone Else’s
A friend and I were chatting and we ended up touching on the topic of the ego. I am not quite sure of the wording or how we got where we did, but we ended up giggling over “Please Don’t Feed the Ego” as though it were a sign one would find at a zoo.
While accepting responsibility for you and your life, don’t forget that includes accepting responsibility for keeping your ego in check as well as honoring your Light.
by Jan Toomer
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