No Explanations Necessary

Working with my team (guides) in this phase of my life has brought some changes.

My team not only offers suggestions on articles to write, but also offers suggestions for my personal growth.

As always, I am – and everyone else is – free to follow the team’s guidance or suggestions, or to ignore it. Free will.

I – most of the time – give their suggestions a whirl. Sometimes the suggestions are easy to follow or implement…sometimes not so easy.

I am sharing some recent suggestions – and how it’s gone for me so far.

• You are sharing too much.

This one confused me a bit. One of the things I do is write articles, sharing my observations, experiences, and/or discoveries so – hopefully – someone else can benefit from them.

This is why I was so confused. My team often offered suggestions for what to write/share. Did this mean I should stop writing? When I asked my team, they gave me an emphatic “keep writing”.

It wasn’t until the next suggestion came through that I began to understand where they were coming from.

No Explanations Necessary

• No longer explain yourself.

When I asked for clarification, this is what I perceived: Example – “When someone asks you a question, you can answer ‘yes’, ‘no’, or something along the lines of ‘I don’t have an answer right now’. And that should be it.

“When you apologize and explain yourself, you are actually giving a part of yourself / your power over to that other person. You are diminishing yourself energetically and emotionally.”

Wow.

Now, I can’t say “don’t explain yourself to your boss” – that would probably get you fired. I am also a firm believer that if you are teaching/instructing someone, explanations are often necessary.

I think – for me – what my team was saying may have taken one of my beliefs a step further.

I believe my actions speak for themselves. If you know me, or my writings well enough, then you know I have reasons for what I do. If I quit doing something; or walk away from someone or something – it’s for a very good reason for me. I don’t need to explain to someone why I stopped.

Now another layer seems to present itself by adding verbal/written communication. If asked a question, now, I will answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I will not explain my reasoning behind it.

I have honored others decisions without pressuring for an explanation. If someone says ‘no’, they must have a good reason for it… and they don’t OWE me an explanation. I should allow myself the same courtesy.

After a few rounds of providing an answer and no explanation, a few people became angry with me. I suddenly changed how I responded to others, and it created some confusion. One response to confusion is anger.

One really positive outcome of this has been a rather freeing new relationship – we do not explain ourselves. Period.

Sometimes it is a bit out of my normal comfort zone, but I will – however – continue to work with this suggestion.

That is how it connected to the last suggestion – deprogramming my former need to explain myself.

• Equal exchange.

There is to be an equal exchange.

I have worked hard to honor others time and energy. I am now honoring my time and my energy, and thank you for honoring mine as well. If you need my services, you can go to Healing Sessions and Consultations to see what services I offer.

I will continue to write articles. (Donations are appreciated!) I am also dedicating more time to finalizing my first book and working on the second book. (I am excited about this! More on this later.)

by Jan Toomer