Q. I get so angry when someone lies to me, even if they are a stranger. How do you handle people who lie to you?
A. Many years ago, I overheard my youngest telling a friend, “My mom always knows when someone is lying, and she doesn’t care. She never does anything.”
And she couldn’t have been more wrong – but I could see how she thought that. I call it “picking my battles”, but in reality, it is much more than that.
Yes, I usually know when someone is lying to me, and sometimes know why they lied.
Sometimes I will call them on their lie.
I may also work to find physical evidence of their deceit, if I feel the need to pursue it.
However, there are times I will walk away from the whole thing. For example, if it is business-related, and I have no physical evidence, or I feel uninspired, or not moved, to pursue it.
Occasionally, I am bewildered as to why someone would lie about something so insignificant, or to make the lie so outrageous and/or unbelievable. For those, I just walk away; I refuse to invest any of my time or energy on those.
Over the years I have learned that when someone lies, their energy shows me that they don’t love, or even respect themselves. That lack of respect then spills over to those they interact with.
In other words, the don’t respect themselves or the person they lied to.
I do respect myself – and unless my team (or the person’s team of the one lying) prompts me to call them on it, I usually walk away. I respect myself, and have no need to get caught up in their self-created drama.
I have learned that the truth will come out. It may not be through or by me, or it may not be how or when I think it should happen, but I do know… it will come out.
It’s not being cold-hearted.
I do care, and I respect myself.
I am not on their journey.
I wish them the best; have hope for them on their life lessons; and move forward.
Q. I have been feeling out of whack – off and on – like I’m bumbling around; awkward in and with my own body.
A. My team explained that many have entered a new phase or stage, and are working on changing (such as higher frequency and physical changes).
The team showed me a toddler – wobbly and working on not only standing and walking, but maintaining balance as well.
But if the toddler has a distraction occur, such as:
– a pet brushes them as they walk by
– a sneeze, cough or giggle
– transition from carpet to hard floor
– a random toy on the ground
(S)he can have an upset in their balance, and (s)he can come crashing down.
We are like the toddler, struggling to find and maintain our balance in the new energy and the changes to our body while maneuvering the physical distractions.
While it’s not likely our distractions will drop us to the floor, our patience with persistence and practice can bring flow and grace as we progress.
by Jan Toomer
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