The universe is constantly providing each of us opportunities for learning and growth. These opportunities can be, figuratively speaking, smacked against our head, and sometimes the opportunity may be so subtle that we don’t consciously recognize it.
Sometimes we have encounters or experiences that – on the surface – appears to have nothing to do with us personally.
I recently had some experiences that were like that – it had nothing to do with me personally, or so I thought.
Jury Duty
Those two words took me on an unexpected journey of self examination and self discovery.
If you’ve never been on jury duty, one of the things you experience is the jury selection process for a trial.
Simplified: this is when (here in NM) the prosecuting attorney and the defense attorney ask the group of juror potentials questions to help them choose the ones they feel would fit well as the jury.
Questions are asked and the potential jurors may respond. They sometimes share their experience and how they arrived at that belief.
I had raised my hand and voiced a concern after a question was asked. I explained that I wasn’t sure how my past experiences may or may not affect my objectivity.
I was thanked, and the attorneys continued their questions.
I listened as each juror shared their experiences and/or beliefs concerning the questions asked.
I could see why they each came to their conclusion or belief. Then I asked myself if I felt the same way, followed by asking myself if I had that same belief in me.
These weren’t surface thoughts. I dug deep within, looked (I believe) in every nook and cranny to see what I felt and what I believed in concerning the topic on hand.
When the lawyers finished their questions, the judge asked them to approach the bench.
A few minutes later, I was asked to join them.
The lawyers and judge asked me more questions – their goal was to determine if I was objective.
I shared with them what I had been doing throughout the whole process.
The judge asked how I felt about the pending case.
I told him that I felt numb – not in a bad way – but rather I felt nothing, for or against. I said I felt each incident, and each person are separate. I did not know this person, or the incident, so I had nothing.
I had no connection – physically or emotionally – to the pending trial.
Who Was This Really About?
This whole selection process was all about the defendant. It had nothing to do with me.
And yet, it was all about me.
It was about me discovering more about myself.
Conditional Objectivity?
When I am channeling information or messages (from guides/teams to client), I know that I am objective. I am disconnected from my personal feelings and beliefs so I can interpret and share the information or messages coming in. And that includes not judging what the client is going through, their beliefs, or the messages they receive.
But one thing I learned is that me, Jan – the human, not the channeler – also works to be non-judgmental.
Don’t get me wrong – I am no saint.
I – the human Jan – have my moments of “what were they thinking?!” – which definitely does not fall under the categories of “Allowing” or “Judge Not”.
An Unexpected Journey of Self Examination
This experience did allow me an opportunity to look deep within, ask myself (via the lawyers) thought-provoking questions and learn more about myself.
by Jan Toomer
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