We’ve been working hard to heal and clear our pasts; to remove our own anchors that have been keeping us attached to the third dimension. And continue to work hard.
Why? What’s the purpose?
She’d Received a Call
My mother rushed her packing. She’d received a call earlier, telling her she needed to get to Illinois as soon as possible. Her father was dying. As she and my father headed out the door to catch their flight, she’d said she’d let me know what was going on.
Turned out my grandfather had stubbornly waited too long to see a doctor; his body, riddled head to toe with cancer, was shutting down.
His wife, their children and their spouses sat around as he rested in a morphine-drip slumber; they had come to say good-bye.
His body soon died – freeing his soul.
When my parents returned, they were understandably somber. But, my mother was also openly hostile to me; so much so that when she’d walked past me, she would slam her shoulder into me.
After two days of this, I became annoyed. Something was definitely going on besides her grief. I confronted her, demanding to know what her problem was. She was so angry, she was literally spitting on me when she told me.
She said they (her, my dad, her mother, her siblings and their spouses) were sitting in a semi-circle around Grandpa’s hospital bed. He was in and out because of the heavy morphine administered for his pain. She said that he would come to and say things like – they needed to close the screen door before the elephants got in – and then he’d doze off again.
I chuckled; though this seemed to make her madder.
Now red in the face, veins prominent in her neck and appeared to be restraining herself from yelling, she finished by telling me that he suddenly sat up straight, looked each person in the eye, and told them, “No one loved me the way Jan did.”
And fell back onto the bed, dead.
She blamed me; this is why she came back so angry. I didn’t know what to say way back then.
I do know what to say today.
They Had Forgotten
My Grandpa – whom I adored – showed up this morning, and reminded me of what his last words were and my mother’s reaction.
Then he shared why he brought this memory up. His words weren’t meant the way my mother took them; she took them in a way that reflected where she was at the time (her soul growth). She didn’t understand. Grandpa’s family in attendance didn’t understand.
When someone is dying, they are closer to the energy, or soul, self than to the physical. He was talking from the place of the soul; not the physical. He wasn’t talking about how we, in the physical, perceive love.
He told me that they didn’t know; that they had forgotten.
They had forgotten soul love.
But I hadn’t, and that’s how I had loved my Grandpa; soul love. At his death point, he saw and understood this.
All Filled Up
Though I cannot find the original quote, this one should provide the needed mental picture:
“You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is full; I can’t put anything in. Before I can teach you, you’ll have to empty your cup.” ~ Master Ryutan
We’ve been all filled up; our cups runneth over with our limited beliefs and perceptions and with our pettiness. We have to empty our cups before we can have something else, something new, to refill it.
As we empty our old stuff, new stuff can come in.
Want to know what’s next?
Awareness. Understanding.
A much larger picture is shown to us; one in a new light that brings about understanding.
Compassion is one thing; awareness and understanding goes to a whole new level, and brings us much closer to knowing soul love while still in our physical bodies.
Awareness that the physical realm, how you identify yourself, and how you see others is an illusion – a lie. Once you really understand this, your awareness and understanding can move beyond physical limitations.
Soul love has no boundaries. It’s not anything like physical love. It’s not dependent on chemistry, romance or sex. It is not influenced by money, status, religious beliefs, skin color or any other self-induced limitations.
Soul love is eternal, expansive and frankly beyond any words we can use to try to describe it.
How empty is your cup? Are you ready to fill it with something new?
by Jan Toomer
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