This is another way of saying, “Maintain your boundaries, and don’t let others bulldoze over them.”
Many years ago, I had to alter my life and this included setting up and maintaining some boundaries. I wasn’t doing this to be difficult, I was having health issues that required I take better care of myself.
My doctor instructed me to talk with my family and friends to let them know that there would be days I felt pretty good and days when I wasn’t doing well. And it was on those not so good days I would have to say, “No,” more often.
I sat down with my friend at the time and updated her. Her response? “That’s fine, as long as you never tell me ‘No’.”
What the heck?
I stepped away from that relationship. I wasn’t willing to compromise my boundaries, integrity, or my health because someone in my life didn’t want to hear, “No”.
It was that incident that empowered me to stand firm. “No” means “No”. If someone pushes against that, I push back.
If someone tells me “No”, I thank them and then back off. I don’t have to know why they said “No”, and they owe me nothing.
As it gets more weird out there, it becomes more important to support your own boundaries and not let anyone trod all over them.
If you’ve not set up any boundaries, perhaps it’s time to do so. It may be a trial and error process, and that’s okay. You can work boundaries until you find one or more that helps support your well being.
Please stand up for yourself. Please take care of yourself.
By Jan Toomer
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