Ghosted

To ghost someone is to end all communication and contact with someone, without any explanation, and usually includes ignoring any attempts by the person who had been abruptly cut off; rejection of any kind of contact with ghosted person.

I’ve heard of a lot of cases of being ghosted online, especially on social media sites, but I was surprised to find that not only is ghosting rampant online, but has become rampant in the professional physical world as well. And I’ve experienced it recently.

I was looking to hire a service, so I made a lot of calls, left a lot of voice mails, emailed a lot of companies, etc. and began scheduling people to come out, look, and provide me with an estimate or quote for the job.

Many never returned my calls, inquires or emails. I moved on.

One company provided an outrageous estimate without ever coming out to see what was needing to be done.

One company came out, provided an a quote that we both agreed upon, and scheduled a date and time to being the work. That day and time came and went. I called asking if they were still coming out that day and was told that they had put the wrong date on their calendar. We rescheduled. An hour before they were due, they texted and canceled.

I emailed to reschedule. I even asked that if they were no longer interested in doing the work, to let me know and I would move on.

No response. Ever.

I’d not been so blatantly ghosted before – and by a professional company.

I was ghosted over and over from companies for two months. Unfortunately, I heard that I’m not the only one who has experienced this.

What has happened to honesty and integrity? I don’t know when wide-spread ghosting became acceptable. If you don’t want to do the job, say so – or say, “No, thank you,” so both parties can move on. But don’t accept a job or make a verbal contract and not show up. Not to mention that the business doing the ghosting is damaging their reputation.

I am very fortunate, however, to have found someone who has shown integrity, and I appreciate the work they’ve done.

Golden rule is appropriate here. Treat others the way you want to be treated; do to others that which you wouldn’t mind being done to you.

Some mental health specialists recognize ghosting as a form of passive-aggressive emotional abuse or cruelty. Please don’t ghost someone professionally or personally.

If you don’t want to work for them, say so. If it’s on a personal level, share why before you cut them out of your life.

By Jan Toomer