We each experience loss – and grieve – daily. We may not be consciously aware that we have daily losses; we are however actively aware of any losses on a larger scale, such as losing a job or the death of a loved one.
I’d like to discuss the daily losses first. The daily loss we all experience is the end of each day, only to start anew the next day. Granted, there are some days we are relieved or glad they ended.
But there’s also other small losses (as perceived by our energy). Having to end a riveting conversation with a friend; the last bite of your favorite food; the last sip of the fabulous creamy hot chocolate on a cold day; the end of a good book; the end of a good movie.
There’s also seasons. When I lived in the Midwest, we had four defined seasons. Moving to the Southwest, where I now live, we kind of go from hot to cold in a relatively short span – two seasons, unless you count monsoons, whenever they show up, as a season.
There’s the loss of perceived reality and/or loss of innocence.
Permanency in anything, or anyone, is absolutely NOT guaranteed. For me, this was glaringly evident over the last two months. I’m not looking for pity – I am sharing my experiences, using them as examples.
Stuff
We can experience grief over the steady decline of, or the sudden loss of, stuff we rely on, use regularly, own, and/or enjoy.
I lost my hard drive this month – which is why you’ve not seen a lot of activity from me. And it took everything with it…everything I’ve worked on for the last year and a half, including all the projects (no, it wasn’t retrievable off of the SSD drive).
I cried. Then I healed. Then I enjoyed relatively light contact with tech for a while.
I just received my newly built computer. And now I have new beginnings with this new one. Yes, I will be starting over, but feel it will all work out.
Innocence and Life
Innocence – or perhaps in some cases – self-induced ignorance – in thinking our loved ones are strong and healthy, and that there’s no threat to that. Yet, over the last two months, we’ve faced my husband’s mortality. So not only grieving the loss of innocence about mortality – but the fear of possibility of the loss of a spouse. Fortunately, it’s not time for him to leave Earth. He does face surgery followed by a year of immunotherapy.
We also lost our bird, Perry, who came to us suffering PTSD. We tried to live the fullest of each day with him – AKA, we spoiled him rotten. We earned his trust and were able to enjoy not only his personality quirks, but his joy of play.
We cried. Now we’re healing.
What Good Comes From Loss?
I believe it depends a lot on your perceptions and habits.
If you’re in energetic victim-mode, the losses help play into that victim role. While the victim-mode lets you continue to play – or muck around – in the drama energy…there’s also a stifling of self-growth. It provides one the opportunity to decide to continue to play the victim, or to stop and move forward.
If you’re not in the victim-mode, it may allow you opportunities of finding the silver lining, or good, from each experience; to love deeper; enjoy life more; spiritual growth and forward movement.
Remember, it’s not the experience…it’s how you react to it.
We have wonderful memories of Perry, and appreciate having the opportunity to have him in our lives.
Hubby and I even have more appreciation of our time together.
As for my computer, I’ll be diving in soon to explore what I can create with this new system. What I can create with this new energy.
Yes, loss sucks crunchy peanut butter. But it can also remind us to enjoy our life experiences daily, and possibly provide a deeper appreciation for people, animal companions, and yes, even the stuff in our life.
May you enjoy your day – every day.
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By Jan Toomer
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