PREFACE – NEW BEGINNINGS
I will be gone next week (this was the week of Nov 10th-16th) – so there will be no new article on November 12th. I will however, be back in time for a new article on November 19th.
But I do want to begin my article now – like a teaser bit – before I hit the road. I will start it off with a bit of background on me – and let you know that this may be an ongoing article with progress reports.
The next article will have a connection to what follows below. This is not a ‘pity-party’ or ‘pity me’ article. That is not my intention. I will provide you some facts, to the best of my knowledge, and will take it from there.
Many years ago, doctors overseas forced me to take two medicines that I shouldn’t have had. I do claim some responsibility here – I should have more strongly demanded alternatives – but was put in a position of being threatened to be removed from my family (no, it wasn’t a psychological issue) if I didn’t do as they said. Yes, they blackmailed me into taking the meds.
One was cortisone for severe asthma. I had been on and off cortisone since I was seven years old. Cortisone cannot be taken for more than seven years or it can destroy the liver; bloat the body; royally mess with hormones; and the list goes on. I stood up for myself, and was threatened with blackmail tactics if I didn’t get, and stay on, cortisone.
Second was another drug for a reaction I had – and again, was threatened to be removed from my family if I did not follow their orders and take this stuff.
Well, this stuff did a lot of damage to me. I had a mini-stroke and was unconscious for two weeks. A doctor recently told me that they call that a ‘coma’. Go figure.
When I came out of it, the response from the then-doctors was along the lines of “Well, you’re walking and talking now – so quit worrying about it.”
My body ballooned, my skin turned yellow, and I began dying. However, that wasn’t as bad as having lost most of my long term memory; had no short term memory; a near-photographic memory gone; and I lost my ‘I’ve had these since birth’ metaphysical abilities. And I developed a severe (to me) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, targeted at meeting new-to-me doctors.
I struggled many years when my husband found someone that finally could and would help me. A wonderful naturopathic doctor began me on my journey of healing.
I began re-training my brain to regain a more permanent short term memory – as well as trying to re-develop my lost abilities – and that was a long, scary road.
Some long term memories have returned – some spontaneously; some aided by a childhood friend. But, there still remains large gaps in my memory – and it makes me wonder what else I used to know, but have forgotten.
Most of my abilities returned – an interesting experience in itself, which I discuss in my course “Undefined Reality”.
And I have now met a doctor that believes he knows of a non-evasive way to rebalance my brain – and possibly return that which was lost.
New Beginnings – Part One
I am back and have had an amazing healing journey – some of which I will share with you all.
Before I go any further – please note that I am NOT a medical professional, an expert nor a facilitator. I am, in my own words, visualizations and impressions, reporting to you MY experience.
I cannot tell you that these results are typical (I do not know) – nor that you will perceive, react, or experience as I did; each individual is unique.
I arrived in Silver City New Mexico on Tuesday. Nervous and excited, I was met by Leesa Haire, one of the facilitators and owners of the Heartsong Center For Integrative Wellness (now closed). Though he was involved, I did not meet with the other owner/facilitator, Dr. Haire, until Sunday, my last day there.
It was time to begin my Brain State Conditioning ™. We began with the assessment.
Leesa had me fill out two questionnaires/surveys online. This was followed by a mapping session – which consisted of Leesa placing electrodes on my head, and instructed me to close my eyes; partially open my eyes; and then was given a simple task (such as reading)- each for one minute. She would then reposition the electrodes and repeat the process.
This lasted about two hours or so (though it didn’t seem long at all!) and was to map the brain activity for the forthcoming sessions. After the assessment, the results were reviewed and a course of action was planned for the following sessions.
A session, which lasts approximately 1 ½ hours, consists of about seven designs per session.
A design is about an eight to sixteen minute segment where you listen to musical tones/sounds. Each design has specified electrode placement (to monitor the brain’s responses), and each design works on specified ‘hot spots’ (my term here).
All of which, the client is comfortably ensconced in anti-gravity chair (way comfy!),
The procedure is created to help rebalance the brain.
For me, the assessment revealed that the part of my brain that was supposed to be active during a working phase, wasn’t; and the part of my brain that was supposed to be active during quiet phases, wasn’t. It was backwards.
Some symptoms of this reversal are: the inability, or a hardship, in making decisions; difficulty in focusing; and becoming overwhelmed.
And one the common causes? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Now, before you go into heavy denial – my understanding, energy-wise, is that any trauma – long or short term – can cause imbalanced patterns within the brain.
Again, energy-wise and my perception – we all experience this in some degree; therefore (in my personal opinion), we can all benefit from Brain State Conditioning ™.
Part Two
Last time I wrote about the procedure of Brain State Conditioning ™ (this exact procedure is no longer available from Brain State). This next part will begin the journaling I did while I experienced this. I will also interject, where necessary, more background information on some entries.
I did two sessions a day – one in the morning and one in the afternoon – from Wednesday to Saturday; on Tuesday and Sunday, only one session.
Though no one suggested or asked me to do this, I did not watch any TV until Friday night. I walked, read, and slept only. I wanted to be able to really pay attention to my body, and mind, to see what would happen during BSC.
I do have to say, though, that words really cannot express what Brain State Conditioning™ did for me – these words are pale compared to what I feel inside.
What follows are some of my experiences, my visualizations (how my mind created mind pictures to describe the sensations) and my perceptions.
My first session began Tuesday afternoon. The electrodes were placed and the first, out of about six designs that day, began.
I noticed a sensation of warmth spreading from the electrode points, followed by an undulating feeling on my scalp.
The visualization that accompanied this was of two beings – one standing on each side of me – with their hands inserted gently inside my head and manipulating my brain. Now, this sounds horrible, but it wasn’t. It was a very gentle, loving feeling.
That evening, I was very tired and very thirsty. I did notice that the tension I had held in my chest (a tightening) was now relaxed. My eyesight seemed to be so much brighter. I put the lights out at 9:30 p.m.
6 a.m. Wednesday morning
I awoke and realized that I had slept with no air movement and the room was hot. Having had a history of asthma, I have always slept with air movement (A/C, ceiling fan, etc.) every night, and in a cool room. Not last night, and I hadn’t even noticed.
I also realized I hadn’t taken my asthma medicine the night before. My breathing was is much more relaxed and my sinuses open. Wonderful!
I hadn’t eaten much last night, mainly wanted water. But, did have something in the fridge ready to eat – prepared last night with the knowing that I would need it during the night when my blood sugar (hypoglycemic) crashed. It never crashed.
I really looked forward to my second session, today at 9 a.m.
Session Two
Today I would pay more attention to the tones and see what else happens!
My ears heard musical tones, some which sounded like a xylophone, without the tinny sound; small tubular bells without the lasting reverberation; and a synthesizer.
My mind ‘saw’ the sounds for one design, as an animation/cartoon where raindrops were dripping into a puddle. As the water dropped and hit the puddle, it created a musical tone which was accompanied by a brief flash of soft blue light around the droplet.
These tones, for the calming designs, provide feedback to the client. The more active the brain was, the higher pitch of the tones, as well as the tones occurring with more frequency. The key was to find/have your mind calm enough to produce less, slower and lower tones.
There was nothing painful or uncomfortable about this procedure, and a few times I started to drift off into a peaceful sleep.
I noticed that, for me, each design created a different physical sensation on my scalp.
Today, there was one design made for helping with physical pain from the neck up. In me, it felt like a soft circular band (similar to having a baseball cap placed on your head) was at the top of my head, and slowly, gently, started moving downward. Where the band had passed, there was no pain. As it went down past my cheeks, the sinus pressure (which I awoke with this morning) was gone; my teeth didn’t ache; the soreness in my throat went away.
Later today, I had a random, long term memory pop up. It was a funny memory involving one of my kids. I laughed out loud, and then it was gone. I cannot recall what the memory was, but really enjoyed the spontaneous laughter!
Something was happening to me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it – however, I knew it wasn’t bad.
Part Three
(Wednesday, Continued)
Session Three
There was one design this afternoon that I didn’t care for. It didn’t cause any pain, no panic…I just felt a little jittery. I found out afterwards, that design was working on my PTSD.
This session ended with an Alpha design, where I was instructed to “think Love”. I really liked that one!
I noticed that SOME foods (which I had brought with!) that I previously thought tasted good (or at least acceptable) to me, no longer were. And, some foods that I thought had no taste, now burst with flavor in my mouth.
One example was a red apple. I quit eating apples because they no longer had any taste to me. The hotel lobby had apples and oranges made available to the guests. When I saw the apple that afternoon, my mouth immediately began watering. I wanted an apple!
I brought it back to my room, and with a bit of embarrassment, I devoured it! I felt like I was at a medieval dinner where I was eating with such relish that I was oblivious to the juices running down my chin and the slurping sounds from trying to catch the juice. For any that know me, food was only a necessary evil to survive, and I would pick at my food – not devour it! I really enjoyed that apple.
My eyesight seemed to be continuing in brightening and becoming more focused. The fog was definitely lifting!
Later this afternoon, as I sat reading, I suddenly sobbed three big sobs and my eyes teared up. Then it was gone. I felt completely fine – as though those three sobs never happened. It came and went so fast, I never knew it was coming, and don’t know where it came from. But that was okay, I felt fine. I continued with my book.
When I passed the mirror in the hotel room, I had another spontaneous memory from the past – it happened quickly and was poignant. As a teen, when I had abused pills, I one day looked in the mirror and REALLY saw myself. I asked then, “What am I doing?” and quit drugs that day. When that memory passed, I realized I saw myself in the mirror this day with the same intensity of how I had in the mirror so many years ago.
It was then that I realized that, though I looked in the mirror daily, there had been so much brain fog that I couldn’t really SEE me. How cool! I could see me again!
Thursday
Session Four
I noticed that I am now drawn to, and be absorbed in, mundane sounds.
They were working on the property across the street from the hotel. They were using the big (stinky) tractors – dirt movers, plow, etc. The tractor fumes alone used to send me into coughing and gagging fits; the sound would overwhelm me and my head would begin to hurt.
This day, I stood, transfixed, marveling at both the sounds and smells; neither bothered me!
Today’s PTSD design affected me differently. Leesa asked me to just “allow it” and relax. What followed was a really cool visualization.
I soon began seeing (in my mind’s eye) different sized bubbles rising from various areas of my brain.
Each bubble contained a scene from my life. I could look into a bubble and see the scene playing out, but I didn’t feel any of the emotions that were previously entwined in the particular scene.
As I ‘watched’, I also saw scenes from known-to-me past lives. I recognized them, and let them go.
I didn’t look into every bubble (there were way too many of them!), and I felt it wasn’t necessary to know what each bubble contain. I sensed the important thing was that they were going.
As the visualization continued, the bubbles raised a certain height, and popped. They were gone!
This session seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, Leesa announced we were done with Session Four.
Later, in between sessions, I had a sudden ‘knowing’. I didn’t need to remember my past (regain long term memories). It is today that counts – the need to have all that returned to me was gone. It really was okay.
New Beginnings – Part Two
By Jan Toomer
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