Who is Peter Perkins?

Hello everyone,

I have been asked to tell a little bit about myself, so that everyone can get to know the man behind my posts. I am thirty eight years old. I was born on Long Island off of New York State. The vast majority of my childhood was spent here.

As a child I had quite a bit of Deja Vu in my youth. Though let me preface this by saying I don’t think of Deja Vu so much as remembering a past life, so much as it is remembering precognition. Several times when I went places as a child I had strong feelings of remembering; as I said, not as if remembering the past but as if I had seen these things in a dream or premonition and suddenly being presented with them brought all the memories of the events back. When I was young, whole conversations could be remembered that had never happened yet.

Another thing is I often heard my name being called. Still search though as I may, as a child I couldn’t find the source of the caller. Was this my spirit guides when I was young trying to get my attention? I don’t know, I am not sure.

Still with all of these experiences I never really mentioned them to my parents because I thought of them as normal not realizing it wasn’t common. I had just assumed everyone had these odd feelings of remembering.

Childhood for me was a test of survival. My father was a type A personality who liked to drink and when he did he was an angry drunk. My mother was devoutly catholic. More then a few times I felt my mother’s life was in jeopardy from my father. My own life became something I had to worry about as well. I defended my mother several times. My father was not above punching when he was drunk. So even as a child I had to deal with this everyday. My mother on the other hand from her catholic standpoint made her think it was all her fault.

As my mother was not about to allow me to go without church and the same indoctrination I can only imagine she had as a child. From the stories I get from her, my enforced church time was easy. Even as a child, I did not feel the churches teachings were right. To me it seemed to only preach guilt, obeisance, fear and suffering as peoples lot in life. Even worse they preached that those who worshiped differently were damned to hell upon death.

When I asked why people who didn’t believe in the same religion were damned to hell, it was as if I had blasphemed just by questioning this simple thing. The old adage children should be seen not heard was part of my upbringing. It is funny now thinking back on it but if a small simple question could shake a major religion, what could really big questions do?

Still regardless of my views and feelings I was forced to church for the majority of my upbringing. I had a lot of friends when I was growing up and I found other religions preached similar if not so harsh teachings from them.

My father got worse with the drinking and the hitting. His womanizing was thinly disguised it truly is amazing the things adults think children will not understand. Well I wasn’t about to stand for such things and I let my mother know. Eventually this lead to a divorce and to be honest I think it was best for both of my parents.

As a child I was swapped between my parents as the laws made it a forced situation. If I had a vote I would have said I would rather not have had to spend time with my father.

The woman he was with would sometimes see me talking to non-physical entities; which is something that happened during these turbulent times. Well, she did nothing but make me feel shame for this. If anything she made me feel as if I had caused the divorce and that I was a strange child.

Fast forward to my teen years…

I was living in upstate New York with my mother.

She had a good job and enjoyed her work. I was mostly left alone to my own devices.

I was happy to be alone and do my own things. During this time the feelings of Deja Vu were less frequent and I never heard my voice being called anymore.

Although I was still able to see spirits; I don’t know exactly when this started to happen other then in my early teens. I was always able to perceive that they were spirits instead of seeing them fully as just another physical being. Still I was old enough to know that this wasn’t normal. At least I was taught through my life experiences that this wasn’t something people experienced without it being something in a horror story or movie.

So I was always leery of these early encounters. I didn’t have anyone to turn to – to explain these things that I could see. It was obvious to me at times that people right next to me could not perceive the things I could. For many years I kept quiet about these experiences. Telling my mother would have been a mistake religion didn’t view talking with ghosts as something good or acceptable.

Only in my late teens did I find friends who didn’t seem so upset at my experiences. Even though they couldn’t see the spirits, more then one could feel their presence. So I was finally able to talk with people who I felt comfortable enough speaking with. Yet something also happened during this time; I found that when I talked about spirits or more openly about things it seemed to attract spirits and other entities to me.

Sometimes the encounters got scary with actual physical manifestation like scratches on cars and other physical signs that the spirits were able to become solid enough to effect things. I understand now that others and I were providing energy when we spoke of these kinds of things which made it easier for spirits to effect things.

During my teens I had many ghost encounters some good, some frightening.

One of the things which was disturbing most to me is the house I lived in at the time must have had a ley line flowing through the property from the top of a nearby hill through our yard and past a small church nearby.

I constantly saw ghosts walking along this ley line. I didn’t know what it was at the time or how to describe what I was seeing beyond there being a road the dead walked along through my yard.

Well as you can imagine I had no one at the time to teach me about what I was experiencing or how to control my perceptions or even how to shield myself.

I did learn that concentrating on mundane things could make even seeing spirits go away, so I dove fully into the most mundane things I could; trying to bury this side of myself. It worked for a while, sometimes for years, but something in me always drew me back to the metaphysical.

Older and now thankfully not forced to go to church any longer…

Many fights over this ensued as my mother feared for my soul and I feared for my mother’s freedom from church dogma. I was able to pursue my own things. I started buying a book here or there on Out of Body Experiences, and Astral Projection, as well as a book on Channeling.

I guess even though I was scared and tried to bury so much of the spiritual side of myself I was still drawn to it. Slowly I gained a fascination with this thing called the Out of Body Experience. To me it seemed like it would be a wonderful thing to get away and fly around. It was a form of escapism. I think deep down inside me, my spirit was rebelling against burying myself in mundane things.

So I sought out practicing to achieve out of body. I went to a Wicca group which wasn’t my thing so I left that fairly quickly. I read up on books and learned of Hemisync which was being produced by the Monroe Institute. This Hemisync music was supposed to allow one to achieve Out of Body by producing sounds the brain would synchronize. I was overjoyed spirituality at the flip of a switch!

This was not to be even then way back when I was a young adult in my twenties the costs for going to the institute were prohibitive. Even the take home tapes were in the hundreds of dollars.

Still I kept trying and had some success though not in the fashion I had read about in the books. I was able to project myself but instead of rising out of my body and viewing my room about me I would leap into my other lives. This felt like possession for I would be able to move around in their bodies and speak through their mouth. It was disconcerting as the only word in my vocabulary at the time to describe this was possession. It would be many years before another word that fit better would come to me.

Still though I was able to live through these other lives I learned quite a bit. It was here that I learned how to shield. I also learned how to heal myself. One of my other lives was vastly more knowledgeable about working with energy than me at the time.

So it went like this for a time with me learning through these other lives and in turn I found the doorway could be both ways and that the other lives could visit me here. I once again felt some apprehension at things.

I wasn’t quite able to go out of body in the way the books described, I had pictured a ghostlike body floating about not what was happening to me.

So again I buried this part of myself for a long time. Then, when I moved to Las Cruces, the strong feel for the metaphysical rose up in me again; it was a good thing too. I had begun practicing out of body again and though I achieved some success in the fashion the books suggested. I felt the vibrations and the sleep paralysis. In fact quite a few times when I felt these things coming on I would get so excited I would shake myself out of the experience.

At one point I lifted up part way and felt this massive vibration. Looking about I found I was sitting up. At least my spiritual self or my projected consciousness was sitting up while my physical body was still lying back on the bed.

Slowly I started having more experiences. I traveled to a friend’s house and was able to tell her some of the things in her room. I had never been to her home so she and I were surprised when she was able to verify what I had seen.

Still going out of body through the methods the books taught as well as using hemisync to try and achieve this state was not quite sitting right with me.

I kept plugging along, eventually watching the movie “The Secret” and “What the Bleep do We Know?” Both of which struck a chord in me. It wasn’t too long after that I found an ad for a metaphysical class at the local college. To say I was surprised to see such a thing would be an understatement. I was floored to think that someone was not only teaching about spirituality but at a college.

I signed up right away and almost instantly I felt that this was possibly the best choice I could have made. I learned I wasn’t alone. This simple fact made me feel good about myself. Still I was shy to talk about my own experiences. I listened and participated.

It was amazing. I learned explanations for some of the things I had experienced in my life. Also, I wasn’t made to feel bad about it. This was the ‘Basic Undefined Reality’ course taught by Jan.

I learned a bit of self acceptance.

Well I went on to a more advanced class; once again this was the best thing for me.

Here I learned the term ‘merging’ which is exactly what I had experienced when leaping into my other selves. I knew even then that these other versions of me were not dead that these lives were going on at the same time but I only had my own term to explain it which I called co-current lives. I learned that past lives, was the more easily understood and accepted term but that parallel lives or as I called them co-current lives were more accurate. I already had the strong knowledge time was not linear.

The thing about these classes though I learned new terms and other phenomenon, it was like I was remembering what I was being taught instead of learning something brand new. I continued on with this and though I was opening up more to the class and to the teacher, I still held my cards close to my chest.

It was an event connected with someone else that truly removed the walls I had spent years building around myself.

I attended another class that I thought was along the lines of goal setting. It had to do with life coaching and while it did have elements of goal setting it surprised me in that it had elements of teaching from “The Secret” in it.

The teacher of that class invited me to A.R.E. meetings. For those who don’t know, and at the time I didn’t know, A.R.E. stands for Association for Research and Enlightenment. This group talked about Edgar Cayce. While I had heard the name before I didn’t know much about him.

I attended the first meeting where we watched a movie called “The Leap”, which was like a more scientific version of “What the Bleep do we Know ?” I found out the next meeting was to be on angels. My memories of Catholicism and religious overtones danced in my head. I thought of every reason for NOT attending. Still I showed up and it was possibly the best thing for my own benefit.

The woman named Erica spoke so beautifully about angels and did not even once bring religion into her discussion. I sat enraptured at the things she said. Once again a feeling of knowing came over me. When she spoke about the healing angels and their rods of green light it reminded me of the time in one of my other lives I used green light to heal myself.

When she spoke of the golden music of the Seraphim and Cherubim it struck a chord with me as just a month or so before I had an experience hearing such beautiful divine music and seeing dancing golden patterns of light.

After the meeting I spoke to her and she must have done a brief reading on me because she knew certain things about me. Finally the last of my walls came down as I couldn’t stop talking to her. I even apologized because I felt like maybe I was saying too much. She just smiled and let me talk.

When I went back to my class with Jan teaching, I told her about what had happened.

It was only a week later that I was able to start communication with my own angels.

A lot of the blockage I had in talking about my own experiences lifted.

I felt an incredible amount of relief as if I was being true to myself finally. In class I was able to speak up and not just be a quiet presence. When Jan asked if anyone would like to write on her Metaphysical Blog, I jumped at the opportunity.

If I can help others who may, like I had, hold back the beauty and knowledge of what they have inside because of society or shame, I felt I could do so by writing of my own experiences.

Though I have only done it once, I spoke on Out of Body to the A.R.E. group giving a presentation. I have a feeling that I will be teaching and working with others in the field of metaphysics. I certainly don’t know everything but I am passionate and willing to share what I do know.

Thank you Peter!